Meditation.......what?

....though I read prayers, pray prayers, speak them aloud sometimes, have positive messages all over....I still feel a disconnect with my Divine. I don't seem to be able to meditate because as soon as I awaken my mind is racing......I cannot still my brain for 30 seconds much less 5 minutes or even longer!! The rituals seem empty because I don't feel a connection. I used to feel very connected....a long time ago. I haven't quite gotten that back....yet. 

I've considered being on my knees but then I couldn't get up....easily!!! 

Tried the prostrate thing and realized I needed to vacuum under my bed...so much for "focusing"!! 

I tried "the Breath" and yoga....at the end when you're in the "corpse" pose....oh, right they now call it the relaxation pose......yup, I relax myself right back to sleep....like a corpse.

I do have a morning ritual where every day I read the Daily Word, various personal prayers I've collected for myself and a verse or more from my Bible. 

If I don't change my routine (like leave my bedroom before doing those things) I manage to do them every morning like clockwork. But there are those days.....like today.....I had gotten dressed to go walking and went into the kitchen to fill up my water bottle.....then did 50 other things and still haven't gotten back into my bedroom!! So I'll do them tonight........mannn it's already night time and here I am writing this blog! 

If I go meditate now I'll be comatose in three seconds and snoring like a freight train!

Sighhhhh so much for routine and ritual!!