PannetArtStudio - Blog & Events

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Feeling Fraudulent Facing a Blank Canvas

I've been up and awake since 3 a.m. but I did go into my studio! I'm having crisis of "faith" as I face the blank canvases all over my studio.
For my "I Can Fly" class I attempted to draw and paint wings last night, left them to dry.... now they look like shit! Couldn't fly off the drawing table.

Worked on my painting for the course "Fierce Fabulous & Feminine - Uncoiling the Authentic You"  and she's coming out, though I went to the dark side.....I drew on all the stuff I don't like about my body instead of, like Shiloh Sophia said, uncoil and love all parts of it!!! So now I'm looking at her wondering what do I love about my body?  Letting that sink in......

Then I started drawing my Black Madonna on a canvas. I had found a photo of me (in my 20's!) holding my first born baby girl and decided to use that as a reference for my Madonna. Got the placement the way I wanted, drew the contours of the two heads and
then it happened. I couldn't think of a  dang thing! I had NO idea of how or what to paint for the drapery, clothing, or whatever they were going to be surrounded by! I'm sooooo accustomed to using reference materials and/or drawing from live models I felt as if I didn't have one "original" thought!!!
Is this what my art is.....fraudulent???? Every painting I've done has come from something else!! WTF???  How come I can't just "make stuff up"? (I know why but that's another blog).

Okay, now that I've laid that on you I can was short lived. I know there is no "original" art. (I'm talking "representational" art) It's all come from somewhere else....except maybe the cave paintings, since they were the "original" people? I wonder if Eve drew?? Or did the serpent convince her it was not cool to be creative. Best to eat the apple instead?
I digress.
Ideas are built upon other ideas....and so on and on. That's not to say there haven't been some truly exceptional ideas that have been re-imagined because there have been!!
I reckon I just got a case of "blank canvas" blues (or whites...'cause the canvas is white) for a minute there.
No problem. I'll just do what I do and research a gazillion other images (mine and others) until I find a form I like and use the contour.....oh I did that part already (the photo of me and my kid!)...ahhh the problem was/is I couldn't think of what to do next!!! The actual embellishing of the images!!! This painting may end up becoming a mixed media piece!!! At any rate she won't be your typical Black Madonna (hee hee hee she's gonna be me!) And my Divine Being is coming in the form of a baby girl!

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